4 Things Twitter is NOT

I’ve been getting annoyed with the Twitter lately. It’s mainly the spambots that think just because they follow me that I’ll click on their worthless whatever the hell it is and/or follow their sorry selves. But, alas, some of the people that end up in the court of Robot Hell are actually humans in disguise, just grossly misusing Twitter. So for your sake, I’m going to tell you some of things NOT to use Twitter for:

Twitter is NOT a linkzone

While many of us link things we’re interested in, and link content we create, some people just forsake the conversations and just do link after link after link. You can summarize these kinds of posts:

[Hey OR Hello OR Yo OR Howdy]! Check this [Excellent OR Awesome OR Cool OR Kickass] link I found on this site: [SUSPICIOUS BIT.LY LINK HERE]

Twitter is not a follower farm

Some time ago, I noticed that whenever I talked about the “Law” of Attraction (Those of you just coming to my blog: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN IT) on Twitter, I would always get followers that were avid believers in it. I did an experiment on Twitter. One day, I fired off a tweet that was nothing but incoherent gibberish mentioning the Law of Attraction..it was something like “LOA Law of Attraction visualize gratitude” or something of the matter.

….I got 3 followers that day that were LoA zealots.

Turns out you can use special programs that locate and auto-follow people who use certain terms, such as the “Law” of Attraction term. Do us all a favor: Don’t use those. Please don’t think you can follow whoever and expect us to automatically follow you…we do look and see who it is. I secretly laugh at conservatives that accidentally follow liberals, and vice versa.

Twitter is not a bragging site

If all your twitter stream is is this:

  • I just ran 23 miles today, gotta rest up and do weights now!
  • I made an app that sings Hagah Nigila while performing open heart surgery!
  • Our company just announced our newest product: the iWhatever!
  • Or anything constituting a nonstop bragflood…

Just stop. Please. While some bragging is fine (and encouraged,) You look like an arrogant jerk. A lot of company Twitter feeds are guilty of this. And it makes you look like someone just talking at their audience, when with Twitter, you need to talk TO them.

Twitter is not a feed all about you.

On similar lines to the bragfest stream, some Twitter places just talk about what their latest whatever is. The stereotypical tweets such as “I’m eating a sandwich” and “Checking out this random bar/restaurant/museum/toilet” aren’t bragadocious, but they smack of one problem: NOBODY CARES. Unless you’re Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian, nobody cares where you go.

So what to do instead? Participate in the conversation. Look for hashtags in areas that interest you and use them in the discussion. You might just land some interesting followers and find interesting people. BE a contributor to the collective Twitter mind, and attain recognition naturally.